Nature's retaliation

In the last few days, I was glued to the T.V. watching the horrific images emerging from Japan and like most people, it's hard not to be emotionally affected by them. Even for a country that is so advanced and prepared for earthquakes and tsunamis, it just couldn't be prepared for a catastrophic disaster like this. It's time like this that we remember how fragile humans are, no matter how 'powerful' or 'rich' you are, you still can't avoid or predict death. We often forget how little control we have over our fate and yet we spend so much time and energy to be 'in control' and 'secure', how foolish are we?!

One day before the earthquake in Japan, another earthquake measuring 5.8 on the Richter scale hit Yunnan Province in China but it was over-shadowed by the bigger disaster in Japan. Both events make me feel that there is something seriously wrong with our planet now. I am not sure if earthquakes are happening more frequently in recent years but they are definitely happening in larger scales, think of Haiti, Chile, Indonesia, China, Taiwan, New Zealand and now Japan. Besides earthquakes and tsunamis, we are also seeing more extreme weathers like floods, snow, hurricanes and droughts etc. Despite the arguments between scientists and the global warming skeptics, I feel that one doesn't need to be a scientist to sense that something is not quite right!! Is this nature's retaliation on humans? Since we continue to destroy nature/ our environment, perhaps all these disasters are nature's way of warning us to stop behaving selfishly. In Buddhism, understanding the relationship between nature and humans is a key part of its teachings, and to me, it makes so much sense. We, humans need to understand that everything on this planet or in the cosmos is interlinked and we can't simply see ourselves as 'individuals' and act recklessly for our own benefits. We are our biggest enemies, and if we continue to be driven by greed, power and all kinds of destructive desires, it won't be long before we indirectly wipe ourselves out. The natural disaster and man-made nuclear threats in Japan are reminders for us to reflect and make changes, we must act mindfully and take responsibilities for our own actions for the sake of our planet and future generations.

Thich Nhat Hanh

A few years ago, when I was going through a very difficult and distraught period, I came across a name, Thich Nhat Hanh, the well-respected Zen Buddhist master of our generation. At the beginning, I couldn't even pronounce his name properly but I bought his books hoping to find some inner peace. Only later did I realised that it was probably the turning point of my life and nothing would ever be the same again.

I have always believed that 'things happen for a reason' and 'people come into our lives not by chance', so I see my encounter with Buddhism as a 'revelation' or my 'path'. It was through 'Thay's' (meaning Master in Vietnamese) books that I learnt to forgive, to make peace with myself and appreciate what I have.

This week, I went to see the Master at Hammersmith Apollo and was glad to see the venue packed with people of all ages. The evening started off with a short period of sitting meditation which allowed my mind and body to calm down before the talk. Just as I expected, 'Thay' is calm, gentle and has an amazing presence, his talk on mindfulness aims to incorporate into our daily lives, regardless of religions and backgrounds. The best part of the evening was the Q & A session because he answered every question with patience, clarity and humour. I love the way he traced the origin of bread and related it back to the cosmos!

A talk full of insights and wisdom, and you don't need to be a Buddhist to understand his teachings. It is all about awareness, being mindful of the present moment, of our actions, words and their impact on others. As he mentioned in the talk, one Buddha is not enough, we all need to be less selfish and care more about the future of humanity and our planet.

Recommendated books: Peace is Every Step: The Path of Mindfulness in Everyday Life and The Art of Power

Alexander McQueen

It was such a shock to hear the news about Alexander McQueen's suicide. What a shame! He was only 40, yet he achieved so much within the 40 years that most people could only dream of.

In my eyes, there are only a handful of truly talented living designers today and McQueen was one of them. Others include: John Galliano, Vivienne Westwood, Jean-Paul Gaultier, Rei Kawakubo, Issey Miyake and Yohji Yamamoto (before he started Y-3). I see them as visionaires because they are/ were ahead of their times, they are/ were trendsetters, artists and rule-breakers. There are so many more successful designers in the industry but their successes rely more on their marketing/ business skills, design flair or styling sense. Designers like Miuccia Prada, Tom Ford, Ralph Lauren and Marc Jacobs etc are excellent business people with good fashion sense, but I don't see them as geniuses. And compare to other fashion legends, McQueen was still relatively young and he belonged to my generation which is why so many of us feel so strongly towards his death. A lot of people focused more on his dramatic and structural show pieces and his amazing fashion shows, but one of his talents was his tailoring and ability to create beautifully cut fashion items for everyday wear.

Last week, I worn my 12-year old McQueen black trousers to a formal dinner and I still received comments on how well they looked on me. They are one of my favourites and I try not to wear them too much simply because I know I will never be able to find another pair like them! I don't owe many McQueen pieces simply because they are so expensive. I used to spend a lot of money on fashion which I regretted in the years to come. Subsequently, I spent years selling hundreds of fashion items on ebay, and it made me realised how 'insane' I was back then. Now I still have many beautiful/ collectible pieces in my wardrobe but I rarely wear them. My current daily wardrobe is consisted of Uniqlo, Muji and Cos, a far cry from my fashion-conscious days.

McQueen's death made me think of this question: Is it better to have a short and amazing life or a long but uneventful and unfulfilling life? I used to see suicides as cowardly and destructive acts but now I am starting to feel empathy towards those who commit these acts. Since we all die eventually, so whether we die early or later probably make no difference to certain people. Are they realists or pessimists? It's hard to say. I, myself love life too much, so I find suicides incomprehensible. But then again, life is not all about the length, it is about how we live and how we can influence those around us, hopefully in a positive and inspiring way. Many geniuses had short but very influential lives, so rather than focusing on the time they spent on this earth, perhaps we should just celebrate and appreciate their achievements and legacies.

A prayer for the new decade...

I am not a religious person. I attended Christian/ Protestant schools all my life but have never felt any strong sense of connection towards Christianity. I used to pray almost daily when I was a kid but it was for all sorts of selfish reasons i.e. I will be good if God can make my stomach pain goes away etc. It was quite silly and I gave up praying as I turned into a teenager. Then in my early 20s, I became interested in Buddhism and New age spirituality. I read books by Shirley Maclaine about her spiritual journey and was completely fascinated by the subject. At the same time, I also became interested in meditation, tarot cards, astrology, Chinese astrology & fortune telling... But just like a fashion fad, my interests came and went quite quickly. I guess I was too young and hedonistic to truly understand and sustain my interests.

Until about 2 years ago, I really thought I knew what happiness was... I have had a pretty good life, financially secured, happily married with family and friends who love and care for me. I was enjoying life to the fullest... dining in Michelin starred restaurants, traveling leisurely on regular basis and staying at some of the best hotels in the world. Then suddenly everything started to crumble right in front me (including myself), and I couldn't stop it. I was completely helpless, and during the most difficult time, I turned to psychotherapy, Buddhism and meditation for support.

After a few months of psychotherapy sessions and endless of self-help books, I realised that they were just short-term solutions. In order to heal properly, I started to meditate daily and read books on Buddhist teachings. Two years on and I can say that I am more positive, focus and content. My happiness does not come from external sources but from within. Although I still enjoy certain luxuries and nice meals occasionally, I know that they are not essential to me. I don't like to be labeled as a 'Buddhist', but to me, Buddhist teachings make sense and they help me to become a better person. For the past year or so, my life has changed gradually and positively, and I know that I could never go back to the hedonistic way of living again.

Over the New Year, I spent days at a meditation retreat with hundred of strangers and it turned out to be the most meaningful and unique New Year I have ever had in my life. I have never liked New Year's eve because of the expectations, I have spent the past New Years around the world... in spa hotel, upscale restaurants, dinner parties, house parties, private clubs, night clubs and even at home, but they were all dull and pointless. Hence I was determined to change all that this year esp. because it was the end of a decade. All my friends and family looked at me funny when I announced my New Year plan, but when they saw how positive and energetic I was afterwards, they began to understand why I did it.

After being cut off from the outside world for days, I couldn't watch the news when I got home because everything was so negative. The world didn't change THAT much over those few days, but my mindset did. We had generated so much positive energy between us that I became ultra sensitive to anything negative. Although personally I feel more positive about my future, realistically, I don't feel the same way about the future of this world.

We are now living in a very dangerous world, not only it is more divided than ever in terms of race, religions and wealth, we are also facing a crisis in our ecosystem. Most people in the wealthy and developed nations are more concerned with their economies, but personally I think this crisis is just what we need after years of prosperity. It is now the time to reflect and look inwards. If we want to make the world a better place, we need to start within ourselves. We need to re-evaluate our values, goals and purposes. Most people claim that their ultimate goal in life is to be happy, but what does happiness mean? Is it to find Mr Right, have some kids and live in a suburban house with a garden? Is it to become the CEO of a multi-billion dollar company? Or is it to win the X factor and become famous overnight? Yet why do so many of us still feel empty after achieving our goals?

In Buddhism, it is said that human sufferings are caused by desire. We humans don't seem to learn from our past lessons and we repeat the same mistakes over and over again. We believe that power, status, money, romantic love and beauty (all external factors) can bring us true happiness, and we want control over every aspects of our lives. But of course we always end up disappointed and disillusioned when things start to fall apart or are beyond our control. Why are people surprised about the collapse of the Western banking system and financial crisis in Dubai? To me, they seemed inevitable because people just got too greedy. And I can see this happening again in the future, especially in the up and coming countries like China, India, Brazil and Russia (In fact, Russia has also been affected by the recent economic crisis). Unless they learn from the mistakes made by the developed countries, they will not be exempt from similar crisis in the future.

My prayer for the new decade is that we, as human beings, must learn to control our desire, and we need to understand that instant gratifications do not bring us true happiness. Of course it is not realistic to try to abandon all our desire because we are not monks or nuns, but we need to know that being selfish and ignorant will get us nowhere and subsequently it will only cause more damage to our world/ planet. We all have the power to change the world and make things better, but we must start from within and then we can educate the next generation and hope that they can use their knowledge and power to do good in the years to come. I have no idea what will happen within the next ten years, but I will try my best to fulfill my role as a responsible citizen of this world.

Food, sex and life

I don't really want this to be a food/ restaurant blog because there are already thousands of them out there written by professional and non-professional critics. It seems like everyone is a self-proclaimed restaurant critic these days! Honestly, I am quite shocked by the number of people who are obsessed with food and their quests to seek out the best and most authentic restaurants in town. In many cultures, food has always been very important in their daily lives i.e. the Chinese, Japanese, French and Italian etc. But now the obsession for food, restaurants and celebrity chefs has become almost a global phenomenon. Yet have we questioned the reason behind this phenomenon? Why are we so preoccupied with food, restaurants and celebrity chefs? Is it simply for the sensation or are there more complex psychological reasons? Or perhaps it is a combination of both.

It is commonly known that food and sex are closely linked, afterall they are the most basic needs of human beings. Apparently the pleasure we get from eating is similar to love-making, both acts can evoke our emotions in many ways. If we look at our society today, we see 'sex' everywhere, from advertisments to art, music, films, TV, magazines and internet etc. Let's face it, 'sex' sells. When we look at the recent trend, it seems that food has become a profitable selling 'tool' as well. There are endless of coookbooks and TV programmes by celebrity chefs from all over the world, as well as countless of food and restaurant blogs. To some people, restaurant guides such as the Michelin have become almost as sacred as the bible! Last year, I witnessed the massive queue outside a bookshop in Ginza and I found out that it was a queue to buy the newly launched Tokyo Michelin guides! As our society becomes more narcissistic, it is no surprise that sex and food have become the most efficient and effective selling tools since they satisfy our constant needs for instant gratifications. Since we all crave for security, the comforting and nuturing feelings we get from eating and sex can make us feel secure temporarily, and many people even use them as escape routes, but fundamentally, they are only illusions and will get us nowhere.

I belong to the generation known as Generation X, so I have never experienced war nor poverty, and like many of my friends, I have enjoyed a pretty hedonistic-driven lifestyle during the economic boom years. We tried out the most talked about restaurants in town, went to the most privileged bars and clubs, bought discreet designers' fashion and stayed in the coolest as well as the grandest hotels in the world. It was fun, exciting and adventurous, but fundamentally superficial and unfulfilling. In the past 2 years, I have had a chance to review my life and realised that a pleasure-driven life no longer satisfies me anymore. Hence I have made a lot of changes internally and re-prioritised what is really important in my life.

I am not saying that food (and sex) are no longer important in my life, but I definitely don't want my life to be dominated by pleasure or ego-driven acts. I still enjoy going to good restaurants but I have lost interest in trying out the hippest or best places in town. Of course there are still restaurants that I would like to visit one day, but I am not going to be too upset if I never get to visit The Fat Duck or El Bulli. I believe that at times we need to examine our lives and question ourselves to see if we are using external factors to fulfill our lives. Food is an essential part of our lives, and without food, we will all die. But when we let food take over our lives, then there is something not quite right. Over-indulgence is never good for us, whether it is sex, alcohol or food.

When I look back and think of the best meals I have had, apart from the quality of the food or outstanding cooking techniques, the most memorable factors are usually related to the companions and my state of mind at the time. It might sound like a cliche, but honestly if we are happy and fulfilled in our lives, then even a bowl of plain rice can be the tastiest and most satisfying meal.